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You can always cook a burger more, but you can never uncook it. So what do you do when you leave your meat on the heat a bit too long? When the juices dry up? When your guests arrive and ask for a medium-rare – but by the time you hang their coats and return to the stove, you find a charred puck of ground beef? Is dinner ruined? Not if you have a bag of apples nearby.

Apples, unlike your failed burger patty, are packed with juice, and if nuked in the microwave for a few minutes, come out soft, moist and resembling a gourmet bun, one lush enough to offset even the driest meats. To further enhance the appearance, peel your apples first. Then slice two slabs close to the core. These will act as your bun. The larger the apple, the more condiments you can fit. Cheese pairs well. So does bacon, mayo, olives, lettuce, pickles and eggs. Have fun and experiment! On the rare occasion that your beef burns beyond repair, swap it for a different protein and dig in!

Wait – swap out the patty? Is this even a burger anymore? Why not rely on any of the traditional bread alternatives that already exist to salvage your meal? Take, for example, the picklewich, a mash-up of sodium, vinegar and lunch meat – yum! Fans rave about its crunch, their tongues swollen with canker sores and scabs. How about a lettuce wrap, then? No, what a scam! Do not buy a sandwich that replaces the bread with something that should have already been inside. And don’t even consider a portabella mushroom, either. Compared to lettuce, you’ll pay double the price for the same amount of water content (~94%); although if prepared wrong, you still won’t be able to chew it! There was a reason Adam and Eve were tempted by an apple, and that was before it was packed with all your favorite sandwich goodies. Just wait until you try it all dressed up!